Undisclosed Desires
by springawakened
Summary: Molly Weasley Jr. has always had a crush on Teddy Lupin, but he'd never notice someone like her... would he? Written for Jg Rox's Rival Ships Challenge!


**Written for The Rival Ships Challenge :) Teddy is ten years older than Molly Jr. in this - I know that's not canon. Bite me. **

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* * *

**I'd always known Teddy Lupin, but I was six the first time I really met him. The first time he talked directly to me, instead of me just being there when he was around. Dad had bought me a horse for my birthday - well, me _and_ Lucy, since our birthdays were only a day apart and he didn't want to buy two, but she was too young to ride it - and so I was trotting around on it. Well, being six, and being me, I got carried away and ended up falling off the horse altogether. It was just a grass burn, barely a graze, but my dignity was aching, and so for a moment or two I just sat there on the ground and cried. I was meant to be a princess - my Uncle Harry had bought me a crown - but princesses didn't fall off their horses. That could only mean one thing. I wasn't a real princess.

Before I could move, someone knelt down in front of me, and a pair of strong, large hands took mine. It was Teddy.

"What are these tears for then, eh?" he asked gently, reaching up and wiping them away. "Princesses don't cry, Miss Molly. It's the golden rule."

I blinked them away, looking up at him balefully. "I fell off my horse," I mumbled sadly. I was going to say more, about how that made me a bad princess, but I didn't, just sat there sniffling.

"Well, that's alright," he said, tilting my chin up and looking into my eyes, "everyone falls sometimes. You've just gotta get back up again." He smiled.

"But - but - but... princesses don't fall over, Teddy," I mumbled. "I'm not a real princess."

"Molly," he said, raising an eyebrow and looking utterly serious, "princesses fall over all the time. It's not what they look like, or what they do, it's who they are in here."

He pressed two fingers against my heart. I know it's ridiculously clichéd, but back then, it was just perfect. I smiled, and he chuckled.

"There's that smile I know and love. C'mon, Princess, on your feet now."

He helped me stand up, brushing my dress off carefully, and I pulled a ladybird off my sock, noticing Dad hurrying over.

"She fell, Percy," Teddy said, standing up as Dad reached us and picked me up. "Nothing too serious, just a bit of a shock, I think." He winked at me.

"Thanks, Teddy," Dad smiled, kissing my forehead and starting for the house again. "We'll get you a band-aid to put on that, Molls, don't you worry. I think Lucy's been drawing a picture of your horse - why don't you girls work together on that?"

I nodded absently, looking back over his shoulder at Teddy. Standing there, sixteen years old, with his messy brown hair and gorgeous smile, hand snow in his pockets. He saw me watching and saluted, turning his hand into a duck's wing as he let it fall.

It was then I fell in love with Teddy Lupin.

* * *

He began teaching at Hogwarts at the same time I began my third year. I was worried initially - I wasn't quite sure how I'd go with trying to remain inconspicuous about my feelings for him - but it turned out to be a much easier task than I'd first imagined. I barely saw him at all for the first two years of him teaching, as a matter of fact, not until I reached O.W.L. year, my fifth. Sometime before Teddy started, the education board had decided the workload was getting too tough on teachers, and had therefore put in place a legislation which stated that there would be two teachers per subject - one to teach the first to fourth years, and another to handle O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. years and the one between.

I'd been hoping, really, that my crush on him would have left by the time I reached his class, but it didn't. As I sat next to Lily in that Defence Against The Dark Arts classroom, consoling her over the existence of her brothers, the moment Teddy walked in and stood in front of the class, right in front of my desk, I felt as though a swarm of butterflies had just been released, bumping blindly into each other and against the walls of my stomach. When, partway through the lesson, he tipped Lily and I a wink, I thought I might just fall over and die (I didn't, just in case you were wondering).

The next few weeks were quite difficult. I wanted to do well - of course I did, did you ever hear of a Head Girl who didn't? - but at the same time, every time he so much as acknowledged my presence, I wanted to melt into a puddle of Molly-ness and just... do nothing.

Lily said she'd come up with a solution to my troubles about a month into term, but it ended up being 'get laid'. Needless to say, I didn't take her advice.

Inevitably, I ran straight into Teddy, around Halloween. It was late, and I couldn't sleep - probably because I was stuck in the middle of not one, but _two_ essays that were due far, far too soon. I knew what would help me - a bath. Always did.

Tying the cord of my dressing gown, I padded out of the dormitory and downstairs, slipping unnoticed through the portrait hole. From there, I made my way down towards the prefects' bathroom, and was almost there - I mean, at this point I could actually see the statue of Boris the Bewildered - when a light came from behind me and I froze, not daring to turn around.

"Can't sleep?"

The voice was deep, and so smooth it would make liquid velvet seem like the coarsest sandpaper around. I relaxed slightly, picturing him in my head. Standing there, looking at my back, wand aloft. How did his face look? Was he puzzled? Nonchalant? Amused? I turned around.

"Something like that."

He chuckled, and I was relieved to see he didn't seem at all angry.

"The new password's 'acorn', in case you forgot. Enjoy yourself, Molly." He stayed there, keeping his lit wand high, and assuming it was what he meant, I went over to Boris, uttered the password, and, after looking back over at Teddy, smiling in thanks, I entered the bathroom. Just as I shut the door, I noticed the hallway darkened, and heard his footsteps receding into the distance.

I turned all the taps on, slipping out of my clothes and climbing in. The mermaid on her rock was gone, and as the bath filled, I thought about her. Was she once someone-someone like me? Did she ever roam the caste's corridors, lust after someone she couldn't have, live, day by day, with the cruel sting of rejection?

Turning off each of the taps separately, I sank into the foam and sighed. The water was warmer than I'd normally have liked but, right now, I didn't care. It was at that point where it was so hot, I didn't really notice it.

I tried to turn my thoughts away from Teddy, but they just wouldn't. Everything I could think of was related to him somehow. Even... toast. Once in the Great Hall, he'd had a letter from Uncle Harry, but before he could even pick it up, the owl took his toast and flew away.

I lay in the bath until almost all the bubbles had gone, and I had the sneaking suspicion Myrtle was lurking around somewhere (pipes just didn't make those sort of noises). Letting the water drain out, I hopped out and wrapped a large towel around myself, shaking the droplets off my feet.

My skin was uncomfortably hot to the touch, but I pulled on my pyjamas and slipped into my dressing gown again anyway, sending the towel to the laundry chute and leaving the bathroom.

Teddy was pacing when I re-entered the hallway. I was foolish enough to allow myself the thought he'd been waiting for me, but I shook that off quickly.

"Peeves," he said, as way of explanation, and I smiled slightly. Peeves wasn't really that much trouble anymore, and he had a certain amount of respect for the Weasleys (I mean... as much as Peeves could) because of something my Uncles Fred and George did in their seventh year, apparently.

There was a pause, in which I _did_ distinctly hear the clanging of Merlin only knew what upstairs, then Teddy laughed under his breath and took a step towards me.

"Come on, let me take you back to Gryffindor Tower," he said, placing a hand gently on my back that sent shivers down my spine. "Just in case one of the other professors is around, you know."

I said I did know, and we walked together up to the seventh floor, talking casually between ourselves. I don't even remember what, but I know I loved every second of it, every syllable that he spoke, to me and me alone.

"Well, hello there Professor Lupin," the Fat Lady simpered, leaning against her frame as he approached. "What have we here then - a misbehaving young Prefect?"

I started stammering my innocence, but Teddy just laughed and waved a hand casually.

"Not this one, my Lady. You ought to know Molly would never be up to anything of the sort, hm?" He patted me on the back a couple of times, then looked down at me. "This is where I'll leave you, Moll. I trust you can find your dorm from here?" He laughed.

"Yeah... thanks, Professo-" He cut me off with another wave of his hand.

"Molly. _Molly._ I've known you since the day you were born - you can call me Teddy. We're not in class, you know."

I felt my cheeks redden, but I nodded a few times too many and managed to reply. "Right. Teddy. Sorry. Well, uh, thanks, Teddy."

He nodded, then took his leave, and I was left with the Fat Lady, standing outside the portrait hole with wet hair in a dressing gown, feeling thoroughly flustered.

"He's a looker, that one," the Fat Lady said, forgetting to ask for the password and swinging open for me. I didn't reply, as I climbed through to the common room. The answer to that was far too obvious.

* * *

The end of my seventh year - and thus, the beginning of my life - was approaching far too quickly. It was February already, and I'd well and truly begun preparing for exams by this point. Three anxiety attacks in as many weeks. Could just have been a new record.

I'd had a boyfriend during my sixth year for a while, but he only wanted sex, and he was a rather strange person on the whole, anyway. It didn't last.

And yet, my feelings for Teddy had. Even when we were studying material as important as N.E.W.T. level, I couldn't quite pry my thoughts completely away from him. It was getting to the point where I was actually annoyed at him - I wished he'd just leave until the exams were over, and _then_ he was perfectly welcome to come and fill my life with his gorgeous self. Of course, that wasn't how it worked.

One particular day - which happened to be Valentine's Day; oh, the irony - I just couldn't focus. I couldn't get anything right, and I felt stressed and overwhelmed by everything and like sitting down somewhere and crying. I didn't - I had classes! - but it didn't leave me in the best of moods, and at some point during our double Defence Against The Dark Arts lesson, Teddy noticed.

At the end of the lesson, I packed my books away, perfectly ready to run back to Gryffindor Tower and hide in bed until the day had gone, but I hadn't even finished rolling up the essay I'd just got back when Teddy called out.

"Alright, I'll see you all next Monday. _Morning_, Sean Finnigan, I don't want you strolling in ten minutes before class ends again. Why not? Because I said so. Oh, and Molly Weasley, could you stay behind for a moment or two?"

It was just casually tacked on to the end, like an afterthought, but my heart immediately began hammering so loudly I thought everyone around me must have been able to hear it to. They couldn't, though, and if they could, they didn't let it show, and so my classmates all traipsed out, leaving me alone with Teddy.

Why did he want me here? Was I failing - oh Merlin, I was failing. Dad would disown me. He said marks didn't matter, but they must have, somewhere. He was going to disown me. I was going to fail. I was going to be an outcast. I was a disgrace. This was it. My life was doomed. My future was doomed. _I_ was doom-

"Molly?" His voice cut through my thoughts like a knife through jelly.

"Yes, Professor?"

A sigh.

"_Molly._"

"Professor?"

"We've been through this. Class is over - I'm not your teacher, for the time being."

"Teddy."

"Thank you."

I didn't say anything. My hands gripped the edge of the desk I was leaning on tightly, and I looked down, studying my shoes with intense disinterest. He sighed again.

"Molly, what I'm going to ask you, I want you to know... I'm not asking it as your teacher. I'm just asking it as your friend."

My heart leapt for a moment, and, almost disbelieving my own ears, I looked up, straight at him.

"Are you okay?"

It sank again. I shrugged noncommittally, feeling stupider than I usually did around him.

"Guess so."

"Molls. You seem really... just, not yourself. Is it exams? Is it something else - one of your friends? Is it a _boy_?"

The emphasis he put on that last word hit me. _Of course there's a boy,_ I thought. _There's been a boy for eleven years, now._

But I couldn't bring myself to lie like that. Not about that. So I just shrugged.

"Molly, please talk to me."

Usually, I wouldn't. I really wouldn't. I'd just throw around the same old excuses - 'tired, studying, etc' - but with Teddy, I just... couldn't.

"Everything's the matter." I looked up at him, watching me with that creased brow, those sympathetic eyes, and wished, for once, I could tell him that it was him. But I couldn't. "I'm worried about the exams, I-I don't understand stuff as much as I used to. It just doesn't sink in."

"But you're getting straight O's!"

"I know, but... I'm scared that when it comes down to it, I'll just forget it all. And then I'll fail, and then... then what? And... I just don't know what I'm meant to do with my life. Part of me wants to go into the Ministry, like Dad, and part of me wants to teach, like, like you, and another part of me doesn't want to do _anything_, just sit at home and try and work it all out!" I realised I'd been struck down with a terrible case of verbal diarrhea but I didn't care, just now. It felt so good, just to be able to talk. "I mean, everyone has a boyfriend now except me, I'm the only girl in my dorm who doesn't, and I don't know, am I meant to be lonely? I don't know, Teddy, I don't know!"

I broke off suddenly, quite embarrassed with myself. Teddy was silent for a moment, then he spoke, very carefully.

"You're seventeen, Molly. You shouldn't know everything about where you wanna go with your life yet. That's just what happens - you change your mind, make different decisions, it's all just part of growing up." He shrugged. "As for not having a boyfriend... Molly. Come on. Hardly anyone finds true love when they're still at school. I'd be willing to bet you, none of those girls in your dorm will end up marrying the boyfriends they have now. I'll give you ten Galleons if one of them does."

"I know," I mumbled, returning my gaze to my ever-trusty shoes. "It's just... no one, Teddy. Not one. There was Damien, but he was-"

"Damien Abercrombie?"

"Yeah."

I looked up to see Teddy... it looked like he was grimacing!

"Never mind," he said, standing up and smiling. "You can do much better than Damien Abercrombie."

"Yeah. I guess, I just... I just..." I swallowed thickly. "I just wonder if it's ever going to happen, if, you know, some day, my chance will come."

"Molly," he said for the umpteenth time-but this time his voice was different. It was softer, more gentle, but at the same time, it almost seemed... well, it was probably my ears playing tricks on me, but it almost seemed deeper, thicker... sultry? Definitely my mind. He sounded - he sounded like a normal person. Not a Professor, not this object of my childish affections; just another normal person.

I snapped myself out of my thoughts before I got carried away, and looked up at him. His brown eyes were more intense than I could ever recall, and there was something new twinkling there, something I didn't recognise.

"Molly," he repeated, in this new, human voice. "You are a beautiful person. You - _listen_ to me," he said firmly, as I scoffed. "If the idiots at this school can't see it, then it's all the worse for them, 'cause they don't know what they're missing out on. They don't see it. But I do."

He spoke these last three words more quietly, and I looked down yet again, closing my eyes. _Breathe, Molly, breathe_, I told myself.

I could hear Teddy moving, breathing; I could smell his aftershave and his ever-so-slightly minty breath, but I didn't open them, keeping them squeezed shut. I don't know why I did. When I could see nothing, it somehow gave me the idea it could still maybe be a dream. A very good one, mind you, but a dream nonetheless.

He mumbled something, something unintelligible I couldn't understand, and I screwed my eyes closed, willing everyone to just go away, but the next moment, I felt his breath on my face, and my eyelids fluttered open of their own accord.

Before they could even take in the scene before me, my other senses went haywire; at least, my sense of touch did.

He kissed me.

Teddy Lupin kissed me.

At first, it was soft; I just felt his lips brush mine, but then he reached up, cupping my face with one of his hands, and kissed me more deeply, his tongue brushing mine. I didn't really pay attention to _how _he was kissing me, just to the fact that he _was_ kissing me.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity but was altogether too short a space of time, he pulled back, a smile dancing in his eyes to match the one perched on his lips.

"Teddy, I- I- I-"

"Shh," he said softly, pressing a finger to my lips.

"I- I love you."

He smiled, and whispered something that sounded very suspiciously like, "I love you too." I beamed, and he traced the smile with his finger.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Molly."


End file.
